💷 OFFICIAL ROMANCE PRICING MATRIX — PLEASE SELECT YOUR LEVEL OF DELUSION 💷
*** RELATIONSHIP APPLICATION SERVICES LTD. ***

Pricing

Choose the official package that best matches your emotional instability.
SPECIAL OFFER: free emotional processing fee on all applications submitted before she finds someone else
Official Packages

Email Basic

£2.99

For applicants who want to be weird, but sustainably.

  • Official email notice
  • Case reference number
  • Basic cringe formatting
  • Recipient response link
Apply

Printed Letter

£9.99

The perfect choice for maximum “what on earth is this?” energy.

  • Legal-style printed letter
  • Official document layout
  • Response instructions
  • Emotional suspense included
Apply

Drama Deluxe

£19.99

The premium package for people who believe subtlety is for cowards.

  • Premium PDF pack
  • Certificate preview
  • Friendzone appeal form
  • Fake legal watermark
Apply
Add-ons
Add-onDescriptionPrice
Priority Crush ProcessingMoves your application to the top of the fake pile.£1.99
Friendzone Appeal PackIncludes Form FZ-404 and a tiny bit of hope.£3.49
Cringe InsuranceDoes not prevent cringe. Merely acknowledges it happened.£0.99
Wax Seal Drama EditionFor when the postman also deserves to be confused.£6.99